I thought because I wasn’t crying anymore that I had moved on….of course it wasn’t that simple. Tears are only one symptom of grief. Lately, I have been unfocused, unmotivated, and generally a sloth. I found out yesterday that I have a vitamin D deficiency so hopefully when that is straightened out, the fatigue part will get better. But the ache in my soul is still there. The disappointment lingers. That’s why I haven’t been writing. It’s not that things haven’t been happening.
We spent Memorial Day at the lake with friends. Here is a video of Lynne coaxing me to jump off the dock.
My super sweet neighbor Trudy brought me flowers from her lovely yard.
We painted our bedroom walls and trim. It’s not ready to share, but here’s a sneak peek (mid-process shot):
We went to Dillon to celebrate my beautiful niece’s 8th birthday and made snow cones.
We went to see Lion King at the Peace Center. I couldn’t take pictures but this video captures how completely spectacular it was better than my camera ever could. The music, costumes, scenery, and atmosphere made it an unforgettable experience. The first few minutes alone were worth every penny (and it was a BUNCH of pennies) we spent on the tickets.
Despite all of the great things that have been happening lately, there is a numbness in my heart that makes it hard to live in the moment and truly be present for the memories being created. I hope that changes soon. I have a beautiful life and I want to suck out every bit of its marrow.